Boo versus the refrigerator
Thursday morning started off quite routine. The jolt of the alarm clock, the slow and steady progress towards consciousness, the regular hygiene schedule, and of course, looking out for the path of inevitable feline destruction whilst they were unsupervised for 7 hours. Of course, even while supervised they are quite destructive. But you already know that. Anyway, I made it to the "kitchen" stage of my morning, wherein after my shower, I proceed to make a pot of coffee and perhaps clean up any mess left by human or non-human inhabitants, signs of which both had occurred. The dishes were not completely done, and much to my chagrin, the last two home-made muffins (and the ziplock bag that contained them) had been thoroughly decimated by Boo. Of course, I don't have hard evidence it was her, but being a presuppositionalist myself, I am confident that she took advantage of someone's oversight of leaving these out in plain view.
Musing on the fact that any bread left out on the counter will look like the remains of an unfortunately slow gazelle on the Serengeti, I noticed that Boo was playing with something on the kitchen floor. Now before continuing, a brief, ranting interlude is in order once again. Having previously concluded that a "clean" cat is a contradiction in terms, I offer that the proposition that a "smart" cat is equally false. Cat owners love to proclaim their pets intelligence and ingenuity, much because of their ability to entertain themselves. Dogs, this wisdom asserts, are stupid because they require someone to throw them a ball or frisbee in order to amuse themselves. However, watching a cat toss an inanimate object around as it were really alive flies in the face of this supposed wisdom. At least dogs understand that a ball does not move on its own accord, requiring that human input. In fact, this is a sign of great wisdom and insight, since dogs are quite eager to please, and play, at all times. They are true pets, companions for whom service is a joyful calling. Not so with cats; they are capricious and wicked, feigning great affection when what they really want is to be fed or let out the back door. Cats will even play with small dead animals in a mock resurrection, as it were, in their play. A dog will maul something and then go sleep it off, like a soldier. Remember, it is not an accident that the truly evil character in the children's movie Babe was in fact a cat.
But I digress. I'm in the midst of musing and notice that Boo is doing the afforementioned stupid cat behavior. What I do not notice is that this object, whatever it is, slips under the refrigerator. The animation of the dead object is only half the fun for these creatures…getting it stuck behind something, something almost inaccessible, is truly pleasurable for them. (Stick your finger underneath a closed door with a cat on the other side and you'll know what I mean.) Quite suddenly, while Boo is trashing around the bottom of the fridge, I notice that she's growling. My first instinct, granted I was only about 85% awake, was that she had gotten hold of something alive. My first thought was…kudos to the mouse for surviving my house for more than 30 seconds. But the noise continued to grow. That low, blood-curdling throat sound that a cat makes when it is cornered by a much larger opponent and can't run. The sound of terror in a cat, the sound of an inevitable fight, the sound of…her paw getting stuck in the frame. That's right, in the ecstasy of pure cat genius, she got her paw caught in the metal frame of the fridge. It took me a minute to realize what had happened. And I had to laugh, out loud, at the incredible spectacle before me. Here was the most graceful of our fuzzy population, thrashing about like a fish out of water, caught in the maws of a non-moving, modern appliance.
The growl had grown to that high-pitched whine often heard during an actual cat fight, and I had begun to feel bad (just a little). Turning towards her to help release the paw, her frenzied movements gave me pause; the claws extended in full battle-mode, the back arched, the eyes as big as saucers. Even here, in my nominally noble motive to help, she would have ripped me up had I tried. Needless to say, something broke loose, and she tore down the hallway no doubt to find a quiet and dark corner in which to lick herself (a standard cat response to a life-threatening terror 5 seconds earlier) and contemplate the horror in the kitchen.
But here's hoping she'll forget soon. I'd love to see that one again.
Musing on the fact that any bread left out on the counter will look like the remains of an unfortunately slow gazelle on the Serengeti, I noticed that Boo was playing with something on the kitchen floor. Now before continuing, a brief, ranting interlude is in order once again. Having previously concluded that a "clean" cat is a contradiction in terms, I offer that the proposition that a "smart" cat is equally false. Cat owners love to proclaim their pets intelligence and ingenuity, much because of their ability to entertain themselves. Dogs, this wisdom asserts, are stupid because they require someone to throw them a ball or frisbee in order to amuse themselves. However, watching a cat toss an inanimate object around as it were really alive flies in the face of this supposed wisdom. At least dogs understand that a ball does not move on its own accord, requiring that human input. In fact, this is a sign of great wisdom and insight, since dogs are quite eager to please, and play, at all times. They are true pets, companions for whom service is a joyful calling. Not so with cats; they are capricious and wicked, feigning great affection when what they really want is to be fed or let out the back door. Cats will even play with small dead animals in a mock resurrection, as it were, in their play. A dog will maul something and then go sleep it off, like a soldier. Remember, it is not an accident that the truly evil character in the children's movie Babe was in fact a cat.
But I digress. I'm in the midst of musing and notice that Boo is doing the afforementioned stupid cat behavior. What I do not notice is that this object, whatever it is, slips under the refrigerator. The animation of the dead object is only half the fun for these creatures…getting it stuck behind something, something almost inaccessible, is truly pleasurable for them. (Stick your finger underneath a closed door with a cat on the other side and you'll know what I mean.) Quite suddenly, while Boo is trashing around the bottom of the fridge, I notice that she's growling. My first instinct, granted I was only about 85% awake, was that she had gotten hold of something alive. My first thought was…kudos to the mouse for surviving my house for more than 30 seconds. But the noise continued to grow. That low, blood-curdling throat sound that a cat makes when it is cornered by a much larger opponent and can't run. The sound of terror in a cat, the sound of an inevitable fight, the sound of…her paw getting stuck in the frame. That's right, in the ecstasy of pure cat genius, she got her paw caught in the metal frame of the fridge. It took me a minute to realize what had happened. And I had to laugh, out loud, at the incredible spectacle before me. Here was the most graceful of our fuzzy population, thrashing about like a fish out of water, caught in the maws of a non-moving, modern appliance.
The growl had grown to that high-pitched whine often heard during an actual cat fight, and I had begun to feel bad (just a little). Turning towards her to help release the paw, her frenzied movements gave me pause; the claws extended in full battle-mode, the back arched, the eyes as big as saucers. Even here, in my nominally noble motive to help, she would have ripped me up had I tried. Needless to say, something broke loose, and she tore down the hallway no doubt to find a quiet and dark corner in which to lick herself (a standard cat response to a life-threatening terror 5 seconds earlier) and contemplate the horror in the kitchen.
But here's hoping she'll forget soon. I'd love to see that one again.
posted by makarios at 1:43 PM
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